My heart has been through a lot lately. I truthfully want to live life to its fullest and experience what comes, fully engaged. But I must confess, sometimes I am too chicken to fully engage, in fear of the toll it takes from my heart. There is the possibility of fabulous victory; but there is also the possibility of horrible defeat. Being that I'm in a morbid mood right now, I'll concentrate on the darker part of life for a moment.
My physical health has been annoying lately. Oh well. Unfortunately, I'm used to that. Finances have been tight lately. Not really a problem. I can always scale back in many ways...like returning to the Free Samples at Sam's / Costco as my major form of eating.
My emotional health has been all over the map, though. Usually, I don't allow this to happen. Usually I keep my heart within well-defined boundaries. I want it to feel...but not too much.
Well, my heart has escaped from its cage and it has been feeling a lot lately about many things. Here are just a few:
A Life Ruined By Money
A Love Gone Unnoticed
A Life of Love Kidnapped
A Life Taken Much Too Soon
A Calling Not Yet Realized
God, why do we settle so often for the safety & comfort of mediocrity? Where is that split second of time where it seems the table has been so dastardly turned on us...where we no longer control our lives; but our lives are now controlling us? Oh God, have mercy on us!
Lord, give us the faith, the boldness, the authority to risk, to possibly fail, and to risk again. Father, give us the relentless, irrational hope to believe that you are so amazingly rich in grace that you would so lavishly grant us our wildest dreams the status of reality. Holy Spirit, I boldly pray for more of you. More of you, Jesus. More of you!
Reflections & Ramblings that I pick up along this journey through life. www.drneilclayton.com
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